i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
