yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
