just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize