Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
