he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
