so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
