I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
