There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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