so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
