you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
