How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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