That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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