The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
