Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize