Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
