Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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