You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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