i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
