I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
