I wish they made helmets for livers.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you never un-have a 4some
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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