I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize
