I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
