take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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