In the future we'll all be gay
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize