So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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