I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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