well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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