How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
