nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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