My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
