you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
