i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
