at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
