as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
