I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
