Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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