Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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