That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
