3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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