Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
