i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
