Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
