well I can't set my house on fire every night
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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