It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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