I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize