i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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