I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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