I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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