i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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