Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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