ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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