Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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