It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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