So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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