Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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