u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
