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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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