Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
