Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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