I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're a waste of cheezeits
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
