The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
